As a teenager and young adult, I remained close to my grandparents. Grandpa Bob and Grandma Jean were later known as “The GGs” to my kids (Great-Grandpa & Grandma.)
Grandpa Bob grew up the oldest of 13 children on a subsistence farm in rural central Illinois during the Great Depression. He joined the Navy in World War II, and was deployed to the Philippines on PT Boat 150 (a small wooden patrol boat) with a small crew and artillery. He partially lost his hearing due to the mounted machine gun he fired. He returned from the war, met my grandmother whom he had written during the war. They were married and then divorced in the 1970s.
Grandma Jean grew up in a struggling single parent household during the Depression while her father was hospitalized with tuberculosis (and later died). She started high school at the beginning of WWII and had just graduated when it ended. She applied to nursing school but was soon hospitalized for a year with misdiagnosed tuberculosis where she slept in a lead weighted vest, endured terrible treatments and watched other patients die all around her. She had lifelong chronic asthma. She left the hospital when she learned she could discharge herself. Grandma Jean rehabilitated herself, married and then was a single working mom who raised three kids in the late 1960s and early 1970s until she met and married Grandpa Bob.
GG Bob and GG Jean aka “The GGs”
As members of the “Greatest Generation,” my grandparents lived through difficult childhoods, economic crises, war time, divorces, chronic illness and other set backs and challenges in their 90 years of life. They witnessed marvels like the moon landing and the development of computers, cell phones and all manner of digital technology before their deaths in 2016 and 2018. They lived challenging but full lives and deeply loved their blended family of four kids, eight grandkids and 11 great-grandchildren.
I often turned to my grandparents for support during my young adult years. They always listened well and offered great advice honed from their years of experience and wisdom. But what I miss most is that even when I felt totally derailed, sad or worried, they fully heard me out and said, “It will be ok honey.”
Life goes on for better or worse. Lately, it feels like we’re in a “for worse” phase. It has been a difficult decade. It seems like every day brings some fresh new hell in the headlines or in our own lives. The digital onslaught is relentless. Societal and technological changes are speeding up and it’s harder for humans to adapt in time for the next wave. My grandparents would be both amazed and aghast. I wonder if they would look at the current state of things and still say, “It will be ok honey.”
Since my grandparents passed away, I have learned to find reassurance from other people and also from myself. Slowly, slowly, my own life experience has shown me not only that they were right, but also why they were right. Usually the answers and reassurance that I seek are in my own proverbial back yard, or they appear when I least expect and most need them. I also know that as time passes things will change, and it won’t always be like this.
Recently my young adult son Joey encountered challenges related to buying a used car that needed surprise repairs, and then it was stolen, recovered, repaired, threw a rod, totaled and replaced all within six months. Also during this time he relocated, burned through savings while looking for work in his field, got a wonderful dog with some (temporary) health problems, and obtained his own car insurance policy. He handled all of this as gracefully as he could, but it was stressful and disappointing. He said, “Is adulting always this hard?” My husband and I said, “Yes, but not always. It will get better.” We also said,
Joey survived the turmoil of the last six months and now he knows he can handle this and other “bumps” in the road of life. (And we know he will have plenty of opportunities to practice and continue learning this as he navigates young adulthood.)
In challenging times we can provide each other an open heart, listening ear and encouragement. Reassurance is also welcome, but when someone knows that you believe in them and their ability to manage life’s difficulties, it can make all the difference. What we truly have, even in the midst of “unprecedented” time after “unprecedented” time, is each other. We have our loved ones and community. We can lean on and ground ourselves in these relationships as we weather the storms of life. When we do that and we know, “I will be ok whether or not ‘it’ is, or will be, ok.” Learn to be a source of empathy, support, reassurance, patience and resilience for yourself and others. Call on those who you know love and support you to offer you encouragement and companionship on the road ahead.
GG Bob and young Joey
